My Would of Naruto
by Tears of unnecessary fear
Summary: What would happen if I lived in the world of Naruto. A lot of weird things. Just for fun fic. Really stupid but funny.
1. CHICKEN BOY!

It was a bright sunny day as I lay in the grass relaxing. On my right was Shikamaru and on my lift was a dead chicken. "I hate sunny days," I said sighing. Shikamaru moved a little in response then turned over and faced me. "Why did you bring that bird with you?" Shikamaru asked pointing to the chicken. "It's not a bird itc's a chicken," I replied holding my nose up in the air.

"Whatever, answer my question."

"It reminds me of Sasuke."

Shikamaru gave me weird look. "How?" He asked

"Look," I said holding up the chicken and pointing at it's butt. "See the resemblance?" I asked smiling. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and turned back over on his back. "Your so troublesome," he said closing his eyes. "I know!" I said getting up.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm hungry! I'm going to go find Naruto."

"Your hungry your going to go find Naruto. That makes sense."

---------

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" Naruto yelled looking down at a cat that somehow got placed in his ramen bowl. "HELLO!!" I yelled popping out of nowhere. "I found this cat!" I yelled with a big smile. Naruto gave me a glare. "I see that. And I see that you decided to give it a bathe in my ramen."

"YEP!! I think it likes it," I said looking at the wet cat that was not very unpleased right know. "Why are you here?" Naruto asked still glaring at me. "I'm hungry!"

"Your hungry? Well so am I. Wanna know _WHY_?!?" Naruto asked

"Why."

"Because there's a _CAT! _in my ramen."

"Really? How did a cat get in your ramen?" I asked looking down at the bowl of ramen that had the oddly familiar looking cat in it. "YOU PUT IT IN THERE YOU MORON!!!!"

"I did?" I asked looking confused. Narutos face turned red then got up and walked off. I watched as he disappeared then looked down at the cat. "There you are smoky! I've been looking all over for you," I said picking up the cat. "How did you get all wet?"

"Meow!"

All of a sudden a green blur zoomed by and it looked like the wind was blowing my clothes and hair. I over came the sudden blur then started running off in the derision it ran off in. "LEEEEEEE!!!!!!" I screamed running as fast as I could.

"WAIT FOR ME!!!"

I ran for a few more minutes then came upon Lee standing there waiting for me. At seeing me Lee smiled and waved. "HOW ARE YOU MY YOUTHFUL FRIEND!!!" Lee yelled as I came to a stop. "I'M FINE!!!" I yelled back right in his face. Lee blinked then wiped the spit off his face.

"That's good to hear," he said more calmly. "Hey Lee I have a secrete. Wanna hear?" I asked moving in more close. "Sure," Lee whispered also moving in so he could hear the secret. I take a deep birth and whispered something in Lee's ear. Lee's face turned bright red as he looked at me shocked. "Re-really?" he asked.

"Yep!"

"What did you say?" Asked a blond haired girl out of nowhere. That girl was named Jessica. "I said...I LIKE GUYS IN GREEN SPANDAXES!!!!!" Right when I said that Gai-sensei just had walked by. He turned and looked at me then smiled giving me a tombs up.

I smiled and gave him the finger. "Oh sorry," I said putting my hand down then gave him a tombs up as well. "That's the girl for you Lee," Gai said walking off. Lee blinked and looked at me. I was at the moment, picking my nose with my mouth open. Lee sweat dropped.

"Hey guess what!!!" I yelled suddenly throwing my arms up. "What!!" Jessie asked just as excited as I was. "I've got peanut butter in my pants," I said pointing to my pants. Both Lee and Jessie looked at my pants. "Really?" Lee asked.

"Yes!!"

I then saw Sasuke walk by and my pupils got smaller. "What's wrong with your eyes?" Lee asked looking at my eyes. "Chicken," I whispered looking hypnotized.

"What?"

"Chicken," I whispered again. "Did she just say chicken?" Lee asked Jessie. "CHICKEN!!" I yelled taking off running after Sasuke. Sasuke turned and looked and when he saw me his eyes widen and he take off running. "OH GOD NO!! NOT AGAIN!!!" Sasuke yelled as he started running around with me hot on his heals.

"WHY DO YOU KEEP ON DOING THIS?!?" Sasuke asked. "I LIKE CHICKEN!!!" I yelled. "CHICKEN!?! I'M NOT A CHICKEN!!"

For the next three hours I ran after Sasuke yelling chicken over and over.

_More to come_


	2. Let us so Gaara Watching!

_"Whats your name?"_

_"...Shino."_

_"Do you like cookies?"_

_"...No."_

_"GASP!! you don't like cookies?"_

_"...No."_

_"I like pizza."_

_"..."_

_"Do you like pizza?"_

_"...No."_

_"GASP AGAIN!! you don't like pizza?!?"_

_"...No."_

_"What do you like?"_

_"...Bugs."_

_"GASP!! You like bugs too!?!"_

_"...Yes."_

_"Bugs are like one of my favorite foods!"_

_"..."_

"And that's how I got this ugly scare," I said smiling. I was sitting on the ground with small children sitting around me listening to my story. The kids gave me a weird look then they all got up and walked away some of them calling me names as they went and one of them saying, "get a job."

"Kids love me," I said smiling to myself. Just then I saw Kakashi walking along reading his book. "HEY KAKAHI!!!" I yelled running up him. "Why hello person who follows me around."

"Why does everyone call me that?"

"Other people call you that?" Kakashi asked raising a eyebrow. "Yea! There's Sasuke, Shino, Kiba, Lee, Naruto, Neji, Ga-"

"Ok that's enough,"

"But I wasn't finished!'

"I got your point."

I poked my lip out and crossed my arms. Kakashi sweatdroped and then started walking away, thinking I was mad at him and taking the chance to escape before I forgot what I was mad about. But he was already too late as I started poking him with a fried chicken leg. "Please stop," Kakashi said grabbing my hand.

I looked at Kakashi's hand and licked it. "EW!! Why'd you do that!!!!"

"It smelt good and I wanted to know what it taste like."

Kakashi gave me a weird look then tried to walk around me, but I blocked his way. He tried again and I blocked again. "What do you want?" Kakashi asked sighing. I smirked and opened my mouth, but before I could say anything something suddenly fall from the sky and landed on Kakashi.

"AHH!!!" Kakashi yelled as he fall to the ground. After the dust cleared I saw a girl sitting on top of Kakashi. "JENIFFER!!!" I yelled jumping up. "HIIIY!!!!" Jen yelled throwing her arm in the air and waved. With a big smile I popped down on Kakashi's head and begin chatting with my friend.

Kakashi groaned as he laid there taping his fingers. "The team is not going to believe me when I tell them the reason I was late," he said to him self as me and Jen continue to talk about why blue lollipops are blue.

Later that day me and Jen decided to go to the desert and go Gaara watching.

"What a fine specimen," I said as we hide behind a bush outside Gaara's house. I was holding binoculars watching as Gaara walked around his room with out a shirt. "Let me see!" Jen whispered loudly as she tried to take the binoculars from me.

"No! Mine!" I yelled flicking her forehead. "OW!"

Apparently Gaara heard us and came over to the window and opened it. "What are you doing?" Gaara asked.

"Hurry hide!" I yelled as me and Jen docked under the bush. Gaara stared at the plant for a few minutes then sighed. "There are no plans in the desert baka!!!"

"Yes there is," I said trying to fake my voice. "No there isn't. And I know it's you Jessica."

"...I'm not Jessica. I'm a bush and yes there is."

Gaara raised his hand and the sand lifted the bush, causing me and Jen to fall out of the bush. "OW!!!" I yelled rubbing my head. "What are you doing here?" Gaara asked climbing out of the window. "We're Gaara watching!" I yelled as Jen nodded.

Gaara stared at us then climbed back into the window, slammed it shut, then pulled the blinds over it. "Ow man! See what you did Jessie!? You scared away the Gaara we were studying."

"ME!! YOU scared it away!!"

"NOTU!! YOU DID!!!!"

"I DID NOOT!!!"

All of a sudden a girl popped out of nowhere. "Hello!" She yelled at us. Me and Jen stared at her for a few minutes.

"IT WAS YOOOOUU!!!" I yelled pointing at the girl. "YOU SCARED AWAY THE GAARA!!!!"

"How could you!" Jen asked. The girl looked confused and scared. "I didn't do anything," she said saddly like. "That's what they all say!"

"Yea!"

"But everyone knows they do it anyways!"

"Yea!"

"We all know you did it!"

"Yea!"

"And one day when I get older I'm going to rule the would!"

"Ye- What?"

"And the chickens."

"Oook?"

So after telling the girl the importants of telling the truth and not scaring away the Gaara we want back home and called it a day. But not before telling Naruto that grass tasted like ramen!

"Boy did he look stupid with grass hanging out of his mouth," I said patting Bob on the back. "Do I know you?" Bob asked stepping away from me slowly. "Of course you know me Bob."

"My name is Sai."

"...Sai?...I thought you...were...Bob...MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE!!!!!!!"


	3. Nightmare of horror

I was walking in a dark room. Everything was dark. I couldn't see anything...cause it was dark. I looked around the room...or _was_ it a room...I looked around the place and saw nothing. The only sound was the sound of my feet hitting the ground, echoing.

I then heard a laugh...a evil laugh. It grow louder and louder as I looked around trying to find the source of the horrible laughing. I then saw a bright light behind me. I turned around and saw...Sasuke. Only it wasn't Sasuke. No, he had...he had... HIS HAIR SLICKED DOWN!!

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed jumping up from my bad. I looked around frantically trying to find Sasuke, but then realized where I was. "Oh," I said relieved as I whipped some sweat from my forehead. "It was just a dream." I got out of bed and stretched out my arms. "That was the worst dream I ever had."

I then looked at my clock and saw it was only 2:45.PM. "Wow I wake up early today. That's never happened before. Um might as well go ahead and get dressed," I said walking over to my dresser and picked up my punk bracelets and put them on. "There, I'm dressed. Now time for a day of fun!!!" I yelled running out my box.

"Good evening Jesse! You are up early," Rock Lee said walking up to me as I ate my breakfast. "I had a nightmare this morning," I said taking a bite of my pizza. "Really? What about?" Lee asked setting down next to me. "It's too horrible to talk about," I replied dramatically as tears rolled down my face.

"Oh. Is there anything I can do to help ease your pain?" Lee asked patting my back as I sobbed. "Wellll," I said as if I wasn't just seconds ago crying.

-------

"I just love new things," I said smiling as I sat on top on Lee's shoulders. Lee's eye twitched as he walked down the sidewalk holding many many bags. "Do you really need all this stuff?" Lee asked.

"Yes," I replied. "But what would you do with this hamster cage? You do not even have a hamstar," Lee said holding up a cage that I had picked out. I stared at it for a minute, then grabbed it. "To do this," I said throwing it down the sidewalk. Silents felled the air as Lee stared at the cage as if he was about to explode. "I paid 20 dollars for that thing."

"And it paid off. I feel so much better now."

"Good, cause I am not buying you anything else. And I am going to go train." Lee said setting me down. He starting walking away, but then heart me whimpering. He turned around and I was standing staring at him, with big anime tears rolling down my face.

"You don't want to be my friend anymore?" I asked throwing myself down and started crying loudly. "Wait!! No no! That is not what I said!"

"Then why are you leaving me after such a horrifying dream! I'm going to be scared for life!!!"

Lee sighed and walked over to me.

-------

Me and Lee sat at a table as I crammed loads of ice cream down my throat. Lee sighed as he looked at his wallet.

"Hey Jesse! Lee!" Yelled a voice. Lee and I looked up as Naruto came running over. "I heard you had a really bad dream this morning," he said setting beside me. I snuffed as I looked down. "Yes, it was horrible," I said rubbing my eyes. Naruto patted my back as tears once again rolled down my face.

"I have an idea," Naruto said all hero like.

--------

"This is the best party EVER!!!" Me and Naruto yelled with our arms around each other. We was in the park with food, people, more food, random underwear being throw everywhere, music, food, Sasuke dancing on the table, beer that 'mysteriously' appeared, food, and Gaara.

Everyone was dancing, drinking, throwing up, or something else. Lee was setting by a tree with a sour frown. All of a sudden people started gathering around the table me and Naruto was sitting at. "Naruto told us all about your bad dream," Kiba started graining as he hide something behind his back.

"So we all thought we would do something nice to cheer you up," Shikamaru said with a lazy smile. "So we all pitched in and got you something," Kiba then pulled out a big box from behind his back, and set it on the table.

"Oh wow you guys. You should have," I said all teary eyed. I then grabbed the box and riped the wrapping paper off. My eyes widen as I stared at the box. "WOW!! Thank you soo much! I always wanted a brown box!! This is so cool!!"

"Um actually that's just the box we used to put the present in."

"Look inside."

"Oh ok, " I said setting up so I open the top. I pulled the folds down and looked inside. "Ohh!! It's a new computer!! How'd you know?" I asked looking at everyone with a smile. "Your always talking about a new computer," Sasuke said not really caring.

"So, are you going to tell us about that dream?" Sakura asked. I looked down and sniffed. "Well," I started.

"I'd rather not talk about it...but since you guys was so nice to me I guess I could."

All of a sudden the music cut off and the remaining people that was at the park gathered around. I take a deep breath as Naruto rubbed my shoulder. "Well, I was walking inside this really dark room."

Everyone leaned in as I began telling the story of my nightmare.

"Yeah.."

"It was really dark. I was looking around trying to find some light, or a way out."

"Yeah."

"When all of a sudden.."

Every ones eyes widened.

"What what!!!"

"I heard laughing. _Evil _laughing and not the good kind."

"Then what?"

"I then saw a very bright white light from behind. And when I turned around.."

"What was there!?!"

"I saw.."

"You saw?"

"I saw.."

"..."

"I saw.."

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SEE!?!"

"Sasuke."

Somewhere in the crowd Sasukes eyes twitched.

"..."

"Only it wasn't normal Sasuke. He.."

"..."

"He.."

"..."

"He.."

"HE WHAT!!!"

"He had...SLICKED DOWN HAIR!!!!!! THE HORRAR!!!"

Everything went silent as everyone stared at me. Lee's eyes twitched several times as did everyone else's. "That's horrible, no?" I asked patting my eyes with a rag that Naruto had gave me.

"NO!!" Everyone screamed at the same time. Next thing I know is that everyone leaving and me, Naruto, and Lee are the only ones left. "THAT was your horrible dream!!!" Lee asked very uncharacter like.

"I spent almost ALL my money cause of THAT!!"

"Yep."

"You have lost me as a friend," Lee said simply and walked away. Me and Naruto stared after Lee as he stomped off. "Is it just me or does Lee same a little mad?" Naruto asked blinking. "Ah," I said shrugging my shoulders.

"He'll be himself in about a week. His maturing ya know," I nodded and crammed a chip in my mouth. "So why are we here again?" I asked looking around the park. Naruto put his finger on his lip and thought about it. "I can't remember," he replied.

We sat there for a few more minutes doing nothing when kiba came over. "HEY KIBA!!" I yelled waving.

"Fuck you," He said picking up the computer that was sitting on the table then walked away. "Naruto."

"Yes jess?"

"What does 'fuck' mean?"

"I think dogs do it."

"Oh..."

-------------------

**Well I don't really like this one that much...it's not as funny...**


End file.
